The Writer's Strike Sucks

Monday may have been a holiday, but this week was still too long. Maybe it's the cold rainy weather. Maybe it's because the new year has not been kind to us so far. Maybe because I'm suffering from cabin fever. That's what happens when you're cooped up inside the house with a writers strike going on.

I miss my shows. My Name is Earl and The Office were both getting pretty funny this season. 30 Rock. Oh sweet Tina Fey, how I long for your witty humor. I also miss HIMYM. My Mondays feel it's sudden lack of awesomeness. At least Lost is returning, but it's not for a full season. (Thanks writers guild)! Don't get me wrong, I support the writers, blah blah blah . I believe they should get their internet revenues, of course. If they did the work and someone is getting compensation for it, they should to. I also think that the studios should stop pretending that reality shows are "reality". They have writers, and those writers shouldn't be exempt from having to join the writers guild anymore than soap opera writers should.

That gives me an idea, with all the stale writing happening on soaps these days, maybe some of those reality show writers should take a shot at a real writing gig, soaps. The stuff they turn out on the reality circuit is pretty fresh and pretty juicy. Maybe a fresh shot of reality writing is what the soap operas need to breath some new life into them. Just an idea... At any rate can they just get back to the table and strike a deal already? Please writers and studios, stop the madness. Please, please, stop the madness.

California Primary-It's Magic Time!

When I was a kid I had a teacher tell me something that has forever been imbedded into my brain. I must have been in the second grade and there was a presidential election happening (must have been Reagan running for his 2nd term). The topic was general qualifications for running for president. The thought had crossed my mind of running at some point (Not for that election, and if you don't believe I was wondering what it would take to be the first female president at the age of 7, you didn't know me as a child...), and I asked my teacher about it. What she said forever impacted my views on racism & sexism forever.

"Unfortunately you will probably never see a female president in your lifetime. If you're lucky, maybe a black man. This country will be ready for a black man as Commander In Chief, long before it will be ready for a woman." I always took that as fact. When rumors began to swirl. years later, that Colin Powell may run for president I thought, this is it. Here he is. It never happened. When Al Gore lost his bid for the presidency, I realized that if Al Gore can't get in, then I probably won't ever see a black man in the White House. The idea of woman, still was something that I believed if I was lucky my daughter could see someday. Certainly not something I'd ever get to witness for myself.

Well as fate would have it, my teacher was wrong. Here I am, 30 years old and looking over my California voter information guide, and listening to CNN. The two front runners in this Primary election, a Young Black Man from the good city of Chicago, and a former First Lady, the balls out Senator from New York. Considering the state of the economy, the state of the world, and all the Americans screaming out for help, for someone to listen, and for change, it looks like one of them will certainly be our next president. At this point can we REALLY go wrong either way?

Hell no. It fills me with such genuine pride that my children could very well grow up in a world with a woman or a black man as president. The relationships between men & women, blacks & whites would forever be different. They would grow up with a TOTALLY different perspective on life. It's truly magical. This is one of the most important and incredible moments in history, so I hope YOU ALL are planning on being a part of it.

You only have until the 22nd to register if you are not already. And you have until the 29th to apply to vote by mail. Click on my rock the vote banner on my profile to do both online, it's quite simple.
February 5th!!! Don't let history pass you by, live it baby!!!

My Peanut Butter

(Originally written) Sunday, March 25, 2007

Do you know that song, She's Got A Way by Billy Joel? Ever since I was a little girl I have loved this song. I would daydream that someday I would meet a man and he would feel this away about me. But ever since the day Allen and I decided to start a family, this song completley became about something, or someone totally different. This song isn't a traditional love song to me anymore. It never will be. Because for me, whenever I hear this song, I think of Cheyanne's first night home from the hospital. Well her first night home from the hospital, and every day since then. Right up until a little while ago when I kissed her goodnight. And she smiled and said "Love you mommy". My little peanut butter. My little Cheyanne. My princess.
I think the biggest difference in being mother to a daughter, is that it makes you truly strive to be a better woman. Respecting myself, treating myself with dignity, being proud of myself inside and out, and taking pride in everything that is being a woman is so much more important. Not just because I deserve to, but because she deserves to. Every heartbreak, every mistake, every friend that screws her over, every test she fails, every guy that never calls, or even every guy that won't stop calling, school, marriage, motherhood, the way she deals with all of it, well is going to be based on how I show her how to deal with it. The woman she becomes tomorrow is going to be a direct result of the woman I am today. I'm not sure why it is exactly, but a woman has much more to answer to when raising a daughter. Maybe because men have a tendency to not deal with childhood issues too much, but man, a pissed off daughter will tell you exactly where you failed as a mom. If that realization doesn't get me to ease up on my own drama queen tendencies, I don't know what will. Anyway, happy 2nd birthday to my peanut butter (don't ask, it's her given nickname...) on Wednesday.
"She's got a light around her, And everywhere she goes a million dreams of love surround her, Everywhere" -Billy Joel

Reflections On My Baby's 4th Birthday

Originally written on Tuesday, March 20, 2007

So here I go with my first "blog".
On Thursday my little boy turns 4. I guess I am just so filled with emotion that I figured it would be a good time to reflect on my little man. Some of you may or may not know how hard we tried to have a baby. After a number of miscarriages, in the deepest part of my soul the seed of fear had been planted that we may never be able to have children. So when we got pregnant with Patrick we just couldn't find it in ourselves to be happy. We were scared to death, that the moment we let ourselves be happy, we would lose him. Then we got through the first part of our pregnancy, and eagerly awaited results from all of our pre-natal testing to know for sure this pregnancy was going to be ok. I'll never forget the day I got that phone call. I can still hear her voice on the phone, instead of telling me everything was ok, she simply said, "it's when I get to make calls like this, that makes my job worth while". I held back my tears and asked her if she meant everything was ok. and she said "yes...HE'S fine.' My whole world changed with those exact words. "HE"S fine". HE. HE, meaning my beautiful boy. My son. My dream, finally come true. Our dream.
I'll skip ahead a few months to March 22, 2003. Giving birth was one of the most absolutley spiritual things I ever was a part of. 30 hours of labor with no epidural. I don't think anything in my life will ever be as empowering as that. Nothing even comes close.
I am listening to In your Eyes right now. (It's the song on my profile right now). The reason is because this song is exactly how I felt the first moment I looked into the blue eyes of my son. And how I felt in those very scary & intimidating first 2 weeks of motherhood. But as scary as those first 2 weeks were, it was amazing because everytime I looked into that boys' eyes, I knew that my entire life had been leading to that moment. I knew that I wasn't going to need to "learn" how to be a mother, because deep inside I already knew how. I already knew how to love him, how to care for him, and how to raise him to be the man I know he will someday be. I knew all that then, and know it still today, because everytime he looks up at me, with those eyes twinkling, his soul is telling mine, that he loves me, and trusts me to guide him where he needs to go.
Now he is about to turn 4, and I truly see glimpses of the man he's going to become. He's smart, funny, kind, compassionate, loving, and loyal. He is us, Allen and I. The best of both of us. He is what we waited for, hoped for, and dreamed of. He has made us love each other even more than we ever thought possible. Patrick truly came from love, and brought so more love into our life then we ever dreamed existed.
Thanks for reading.