The Color of Hope

Though I missed the early part of today's concert celebrating Tuesday's inauguration of Barack Obama, I was able to catch most of it. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a "Kodak Cryer". Yes, I do get misty eyed at sappy commercials, songs and movies. But nothing gets me more sapped out like a hope & history.

JFK died almost twenty years before I was born, yet I still cry whenever I hear him speak. In fact I even own a compilation of the speeches he made during his political career on DVD. The same goes for Martin Luther King. For years on my desk at work I had a framed picture of MLK with some of his most inspiring words printed on it. I carry it with me in my purse still.

Movie stars, singers and writers can inspire us. But the inspiration that comes from a sincere politician, well that's different. That's magic. That's fate. That's history.

Though U2 singing Pride in the Name of Love was a goose bump inducing moment for sure, for me the most incredible moment of today's celebration was when President-elect Obama came up to the stage and addressed the nation. I was inspired. I was in tears, as were thousands of others.

After September 11th, the one positive thing that happened was the great feeling of community that spread through the nation like wildfire in those days following the attacks.

With the Golden Autumn colors in the fall of 2001 came a wave of Red white and Blue that made our beautiful landscape rich with Pride, love and patriotism. We all cared about one another and our country and our future. All of it was tainted with sadness though. Sadness because it took something like the 9/11 attacks to bring about such change.

Time passed. Over the course of the years since 9/11 those good things that came out of those horrific attacks were again buried. Buried beneath war, civil unrest, economic turmoil, job loss and a complete and utter loss of faith in our Government and each other.

But no more. With one election, that all of us took part in, faith has come creeping back in.

Today, here in California, it felt like Spring. The sun was golden, the air was crisp and the smell of flowers and BBQ were in the air. The sky was a perfect shade of blue and as I watched my kids play outside I took a deep breath. I inhaled the smell and feel of Spring after what had been a long cold lonely winter (yes, I'm quoting Beatles). On TV the sights and sounds of Red White & Blue filled the screen.I swear I could even hear the cries of hope that were coming from the Lincoln Memorial all the way here in California.

Spring is coming. And as the green leaves of Spring return to trees across the country, the Red White & Blue colors of hope also return to the hearts of America.

Happy Inauguration Everybody!

Why I Hate the Internet... Sometimes

So there I was minding my business today, tweeting away, working and doing stuff around the house. Someone sends a tweet, What are your thoughts on the end of the world, w/a link to a YouTube video. OK, so my thoughts on the end of the world are pretty simple. It sounds pretty crappy, and scares the crap out of me. Seriously. You want to know what the scariest movies in the world are to me? Red Dawn & The Day After Tomorrow. That's right. That end of the world, World War III, earthquakes, tsunamis and stuff makes my skin crawl every time.

So when I saw this tweet with a link about the end of the world it peeked my interest. So I watched this video about the end of the world, which as it turns out is December 21, 2012. Right before Christmas. Bummer.



I may joke, but this stuff really does scare the hell out of me. December 2012 is like 4 years away. That's not very far. And from the looks of the video it's going to be straight out of Day After Tomorrow. Holy end of days Batman! So I got myself all in a tiff over this stupid video. In my head I sounded like a little Red Hen. "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" Then I got online and found that there were a number of sites dedicated to 2012. Many of the most popular run by people selling "survival kits".

Selling. Survival. Kits.

Suddenly I'm not so scared. As it turns out a big part of the whole "12-21-12" thing is people making money off other people's fears. So what else is new? Anyhow if the end of the world is in 2012, you won't have to worry about me. I've seen Red Dawn. I know how to live off the land. Wolverines!

Life Moves Pretty Fast

It seems so strange to sit and watch home videos of my little guy when he was just a baby. When I think back on what my life was like and what it's like now. How does 5 years just happen so fast? I think the day-to-day life is just so damn busy that we totally let time just slip through our fingers. Do you ever have those "once in a lifetime moments"? You know the song from Crowded House? Those moments when you just stop and look around, and wonder how the hell did I get here?

7 years ago I was just a chick who worked in an office and lived in a one bedroom duplex, who chain-smoked and liked to stay up late. Now I'm a mom of not just one but two kids. I own my own daycare, live in a 4-bedroom house and get paid to write. And haven't had a cigarette in 6 years. Holy crap.

I have been letting the days go by. I think in the early years of my son’s life I tried to hold on to as many days as I could. But as life got busier, I let more and more day’s just slip by. Not anymore. One of my goals for the year is to not let that happen as much. I need to not get caught up so much in other stuff and just enjoy these days with my kids. They're five and six, but they won't be forever. And 7 years from now when I look back on home videos of this year, I don't want to wonder where the time went.

I want to know exactly where my time went, and I want to be happy about it.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from one Mr. Ferris Bueller.

"Life moves pretty fast, and if you don't stop and look around once in awhile you might miss it."

Merry Christmas!

As I sit here there is a mess of toys and stuff spread out all over the floor. A fire still roars in the fireplace while Christmas music continues to softly play. I'm still stuffed from bean dip, cookies and lots of coffee. Tonight we'll be dining on leftover turkey and probably going to sleep early. It's Christmas, my favorite day of the year. But this year is a little different. In all of my 31 years celebrating Christmas I cannot recall one that was not sunny and bright. It's always VERY cold, but here in California it always seems that the sun always shines bright on Christmas. Not this year. It's been storming on and off since yesterday, which only seems fitting as 2008 comes to an end.

2008 has not exactly been a banner year and we are pretty happy to see it end. It seems funny that this time last year we were celebrating a much bigger Christmas (toy & gift wise). Little did we know that a week later we would be suffering losses in both of our businesses (my husband and I both being self-employed). Or that by the end of January we would be filing for bankruptcy. We certainly did not know that the economy was going to make our lives harder and harder with each passing month. And we certainly didn't know a few months later my dad would be diagnosed with Cancer.

Like I said, not exactly a banner year.

So as 2008 FINALLY reaches it's end, the end I've been waiting for almost since it began, I breathe a aigh of relief. But I can't help to think about the good things that came from 2008 as well. And that I have hope that the hard work and energy we put into simply surviving 2008 will pay off in 2009. The good things? Well here is my list of things that I'm taking from 2008 instead of what Im leaving behind with it.

1. My Family- My kids are growing more and more each day, and are becoming the people I'd most like to spend time with. They are not only my kids that I love because they are my kids, but people who are warm, funny, smart and a whole lot of fun to be with. They have both just blossomed even more in Kindergarten & Pre-school, and I am proud of them and fall in love with them more each day.

My husband? Well, a lesser couple would have jumped ship long ago. But not us. Each hardship we have encountered has only made us stronger and more diligent in our resolve to make our lives better for us and our kids. He is my best friend, and never in a million years could I imagine drifting though life with anyone else but him.

2. Writing- When 2008 started sucking FAST last January, the first thing I did was pick up my journal again. Then I started blogging and then checking out some freelance writing websites. By February I had my first paying job as a writer. Real money, real writing. I still have that gig as well as a couple of others, not to mention the handful that have come and gone through the year. The writing has introduced me to the world of social media and Web 2.0, and I have developed a love and passion for it. I am now hoping to pursue a career in it as well as writing. By this time next year I am confident that I will be doing one or both for a living.

3. School- I never thought I would find the time or energy to go back to school. It didn't seem all that important to me when I graduated high school a million years ago, and that became one of my biggest regrets in life. One that my husband and I both shared and decided to remedy in 2008. In the fall we both returned to school. Though it's made for a busy semester, as it turns out it was pretty damn smart. Between Early Childhood Classes, Political Science & Marketing I am putting myself in a career I truly feel I was meant to do. My husband is taking music classes, his true passion. It's given him a sense of pride that I could never have helped him to have. It's all good.

4. America- The election in November was one of the greatest moments of my life, and as dire as our financial circumstances along with the rest of the country's is, I've never been filled with more hope and excitement about politics and the future as I am when looking ahead to 2009. This, my friends, is going to be an awesome ride.

4. My Dad's Obsession with Living a Healthy Lifestyle- In the Spring, cancer kind if came out of nowhere and decided to make it's way into our lives when my dad was diagnosed with throat cancer. We weren't sure how it was going to play out. All we knew is that we were pretty damn scared. Cancer sucks, and there really isn't a better way to sum it up. Explaining to my kids that Grandpa was sick was one of the most surreal moments of my entire life. One I don't think I'll ever really be able wrap my mind around. Lucky for all of us though, my dad had other plans that cancer just didn't fit in with. Last night as we enjoyed family Christmas festivities together, you would never know that over the summer he was a man who was unable to speak, had to eat through a feeding tube, and on some days could barely even get out of bed. His recovery so amazing in fact, that his doctor have even asked to write about. Most of it attributed to my dad's obsession with hiking, skating, eating natural foods and living a healthy lifestyle. Cancer didn't stand a chance against my dad's organic healthy mind & body. It will b a long while before any of us are able to stop looking behind us to see if the cancer has caught up with us and returned, but for now he's alive, he's healthy, he's laughing, and swinging his grandkids around like he always has.

You know, now that I think about it maybe 2008 was better than I give it credit for. At any rate, I hope nothing but the best for you and yours in 2009. Everyone I know has had it rough this year one way or another, and I hope together we can heal the wounds of the last year. Both as a country and in our personal lives.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Why I Tweet

I am a WAHM. Working from home part time as a freelance writer, hoping to somehow turn that freelance writing and love of social networking and online media into a work from home job that can actually pay the bills. Until I do make enough to do that, I pay the bills by running a small daycare out of my home.

Up until the economy stepped in, my business was a pretty successful large family daycare, but now I have three kids that I watch (5 if you count my own) and not a whole lot of adult interaction. I started freelance writing as a way to appease the writing bug that’s forever resided in a small spot in the pit of my stomach, and then as the daycare slowed down, freelance writing became a way of making extra money and helping us survive.

As I got more and more involved in writing online and began exploring the wonderful world of blogging I found myself getting into the various social networking sites hat was becoming all the rage. MySpace, FaceBook, and others. I even opened an account on Twitter, which sat dormant for a very long time. Those sites were fun, but never really seemed to serve a purpose. Other than reconnecting with some old friends from school.

Then not so long ago I rediscovered Twitter. And Twitter moms. Within a week I was tweeting daily with moms all over the country, and then began networking with people I’d connected with on other sites I wrote for, and the next thing I knew I was following and networking with some of the biggest names in online social media and blogging. Pretty cool.

So what is it that I’m getting from Twitter that I value the most? Strangely enough it’s not the networking and the amazing things I’m learning about social media, government, and writing (though I’ve come to value those things immensely), but it’s what I like to call the “break room factor”.

I enjoy working for myself more than any other job I’ve ever had. And that says a lot, considering I’ve worked in radio. And that’s pretty fun.

The one thing I do miss though about working in an office is being part of the world. At my last job (and every job I’ve had) the break room was where it always went down. The best and most innovative ideas about work came from the casual conversations had over coffee and doughnuts in the break room.

And of course there was always advice to be given out about the kids, gossiping about Lost or who got kicked off Survivor, and commiserating about and discussing all the latest news topics.

When I started working for myself out of the home to be with my kids, I didn’t realize how much those break room conversations meant to me. In fact you could even say that it wasn’t until I discovered Twitter that I realized it.

Because for me that’s what Twitter has become. My break room. If I’ve got an idea about social networking or an article that I want to bounce off of somebody, I can tweet it and get a response. If my kids do something cute, or something that drives me nuts, I can throw it out there in Twitter and at least one mom will know what I’m feeling. And of course if I want to know if anyone else thought Justin Timberlake was hilarious on SNL last night, well you get the picture.

Twitter has kind of become the world’s break room, where everyone can get something from it. It’s out of casual conversation that the greatest ideas and innovations are born, and Twitter is full of casual conversations about amazing things.

Well, and about Justin Timberlake in a leotard, but I digress.

My Online Playlist

Song 1 Etta James - At Last.

It was pointed out to me that I am slightly weird. Before you say anything, yes I have had that pointed out to me before, but this was in reference to something new. I recently discovered Playlist.com. Now, I have known it to exist for quite sometime now, but it was not until recently that I finally dove in and created my own playlist.

I am now addicted. I don’t know that I have the most eclectic playlist ever created, but since I have received comments that it’s weird, I feel it has served its purpose. And at 54 songs, it’s really only the beginning.

Song 2 Patti Smith - People Have The Power.

As I write this I have my playlist playing (as you can see listed). I love the new technology and how in minutes you can do what years ago it took many of us hours to do. Create the ultimate mix-tape. Really, that’s what these playlist are, right? Only with access to almost every song ever heard, thanks to the web, we can almost perfect the ultimate mix tapes.

I, so far, am quite proud of mine. And it’s not because these are simply songs that I like. To me my playlist (much like my JamsBio) is a representation of my very soul. Each and every song represents some part of me, and is one of the key ingredients to making me, me.

Song 3 David Bowie - Magic Dance.

So what if people find Sam Cooke, Pantera, Dolly Parton and The Smiths clash. For me it’s just the music of my life. The things that touch my soul. My own personal art collection if you will. Except of paintings its words and music that create the picture.

I will continue to add songs to my playlist. And I will continue to rebuff the people that mock my odd selections. Because they are my pieces of art. A collection that I have spent a lifetime building in my own head.

Song 4 Public Enemy – Fight The Power.

Yes, I am a musical schizophrenic. But with all the great music in the world, in every genre, it would seem strange to turn off any of it. Life is full of variety, so why shouldn’t musical tastes be full of the same?


Song 5 Terry Reid - We Are What We Are.

December 1980

When I was three years old we had a big couch that folded out into a bed. It was a perfectly 70s looking thing. It was black and white with a paisley pattern. On the weekends or special occasions my parents would pull out the bed and we would all curl up to watch a movie or whatever. This morning while drinking my coffee and surfing the web I came across a news item that, in an instant, took me back to one particular memory I have of that old couch.

It was New Year’s Eve, 1980. We had the big bed pulled out and it was covered with blankets and pillows. My baby sister must have been long asleep, as was my dad on the sofa bed next to me. My mom and older brother were frittering about, and a Christmas tree remained lit up off in the corner.

On the TV was some sort of year-in-review kind of thing, I don’t really remember exactly. What I do remember was a man on the TV saying that 1980 would aalways be remembered as the year John Lennon was killed. What followed was a montage of John Lennon through the course of his entire career. Set to the song, Imagine.

I remember my mom and dad being emotional, and I remember how sad it was. Maybe I was just picking up on how sad it was in my house in those couple of weeks following John Lennon’s death. I was hardly three years old. I’m not sure how I remember any of it. But, I did. I even called my mom before writing this, and she verified the memory to be pretty close to correct.

For me, that New Year’s Eve tribute to John Lennon and hearing Imagine playing in the background was my very first clear memory of being affected by music. And to this day, after all the millions upon millions of times I’ve heard Imagine through the course of my lifetime, it still makes me sad.

My first memory of John Lennon was that he was killed way before his time. The entire landscape of music was forever changed on December 8, 1980. The day John Lennon died. 18 years ago today.

I imagine we’ll never really know what we missed having him taken from us too soon.

I imagine no matter how much time may pass; we’ll never really get over it.